And the number on the scale slides down

I thought I was too old, too smart, too aware. Things like that don’t happen to people like me. It starts for a reason, for a purpose, a cause. To impress, for summer, that dream dress. But slowly you begin – you begin to regress. Your body’s getting less, but so’s your mind, and the…

Just Don’t Call Me Bitter

I graduated from a top performing arts school a few years ago. More years ago than I care to admit, not having the type or quantity of work behind me that I’d perhaps like. My main excuse is that my time at the school was not at all what I expected. It ruined me. Mentally…

The bodies of grownups

“The bodies of grownups come with stretchmarks and scars, faces that have been lived in, relaxed breasts and bellies, backs that give trouble, and well-worn feet: flesh that is particular, and obviously mortal. They also come with bruises on their heart, wounds they can’t forget, and each of them a company of lovers in their…

Now that I don’t fit into my favourite dress…

Skinny, stressed and really well dressed. That’s how I describe myself then. And now? How to describe myself now? With these changes I see in the mirror – that’s me! It’s different, yes. But better – less stressed. Less balletic, less slender, for sure. But now I can smile, I can laugh Be sincere yet…

Dysmorphia

What is dysmorphia? For me, it’s not about looking in the mirror and seeing a different, larger person. It not about looking at all. It’s about feeling. I close my eyes and I feel Big. Despite my frame (which I’m told is slender and that I like when I look the mirror) I close my eyes…

ED

I was quite large for quite a while. I worked in a chocolate shop. And I had no concept of balanced nutrition or how much was too much, coupled with a bottomless appetite. I wasn’t happy with my body, but felt I lacked the self-control to do anything about it. The easiest thing to do…