The Goal-less Life

It sounds bad, and in some way I feel a lacking; a directionlessness and anxiety that I may not have a good life. On the other hand, I am happy. I have direction, just no end in sight. I am all about the journey, whether I like it or not. I feel I’ve let possibilities…

Thoughts from the Walk

Having you means not caring about what people think of me. Your thoughts are all that matter. (Revision: My thoughts are all that matter.) I am very good at solitude. Though I may feel lazy and restless or wish I was going somewhere in my life, I am good at being alone. I think. But the underlying…

Moolah

I have the post-money blues. Those blues you get after you spend a whole load of money. No matter what it’s for, no matter how useful, I’ll get them. Flights to go back and see my friends and family? Blues. Expensive dietician treatment to finally fix a debilitating mental illness I’ve been trying to fight…

I left you sleeping

I left you sleeping in folds of white, the darkness of your hair and the perfection of you contrasted with the nirvana in which you lay. The first time I saw you flashes across my mind and now I see you lying here, mine, and it is my right, my privilege, to witness this moment…

A bathroom of one’s own

…and before her a pearl of blood. “It’s not really a pearl,” she thought; others may critique her metaphor were she to write it down, “but what is a pearl? An impurity. And are we not, in the eyes of some unfortunate men, impure? And this,” her eyes still fixed on the pearl, “the most…

Bits and pieces in old notebooks

Where curtains billow whitely against the ocean. … My growing collection of your jumpers signals our lives entwining together. … There is a limited number of voices in the world. Many people share a voice, whether they be sisters, brothers, or complete strangers. It is rare to hear a voice unique to its vessel. … Profound…

NZ

In my mind lasts the resounding, echoing images of New Zealand that bring tears to my eyes. I miss it as I would a person – a lover, perhaps, with whom I’ve had to part. It’s beauty in its grandeur, its calm, humble strength, its warmth and its biting cold. The landscape that crescendoes and…

Now that I don’t fit into my favourite dress…

Skinny, stressed and really well dressed. That’s how I describe myself then. And now? How to describe myself now? With these changes I see in the mirror – that’s me! It’s different, yes. But better – less stressed. Less balletic, less slender, for sure. But now I can smile, I can laugh Be sincere yet…

A thought on AI

We are becoming gods. The pursuit of material wealth has the goal of ultimately leading us to optimum efficiency and uninterrupted leisure. Work will no longer be alienated from the worker because the means of production will be in the robotic hands of machines, leaving us to pursue work out of passion, skill and self-fulfillment….

Politics in the time of…this.

What does it mean if we cannot change? I’ve grown up to this point, and am fairly sure others have, believing there is an ideal that history is leading towards, through our mistakes and our triumphs. But what if this ‘ideal’ world of equality, of tolerance, of peace, is only a hope within the minds…

Dysmorphia

What is dysmorphia? For me, it’s not about looking in the mirror and seeing a different, larger person. It not about looking at all. It’s about feeling. I close my eyes and I feel Big. Despite my frame (which I’m told is slender and that I like when I look the mirror) I close my eyes…

Put to Bed After Too Much Champagne

Behind my eyes are confetti Blown by a near wind and traced to geometrical perfection. Daisy petals line the walls of the corner of a room draped with innovation Wherein jazz once played in a distant memory. In an old building inhabited by figures; the outcast, the eccentric, the ones trying too hard and not…